Friday, August 8, 2014

"Love" is Not Enough

"Love" is not enough. 

I have been married for just over seven months. December 28th, 2013 was an amazing celebration of the beginning of my marriage. I felt so blessed to be surrounded by so many loved ones who came to show their support for Josh and I. Marriage has been such a gift and growing experience so far. As a Christian, I believe (based on scripture) that marriage is a covenant created by God, which is the closest depiction of God's covenant with His people. Marriage has certainly been one of the best growing experiences for me in regards to my faith.

"Love" is not enough.

Romantic novels & movies, media, and society alike have been feeding people the lie that love between two people is all that is necessary to create and sustain a healthy marriage. Well, I'm calling it--BS!

"Love" is not enough. 

Love is not enough to last a lifetime of hardships, loss, scary unknowns, anger, fear, and any other thing that is certain to be encountered within marriage. Love is not enough because humans cannot give enough love to fill someone else's emptiness and needs. No, humans have a much bigger need and desire than what can be found from a single person (hence the high rate of divorce, society's belief that people need not get married anymore, or that having multiple sexual partners is great).

"Love" is not enough.

If love were enough to make a relationship last a lifetime, I would not have broken up with my first boyfriend. But, even after two years in a relationship with said boyfriend, I knew our fundamental differences in beliefs about God would leave me empty and always seeking for what I truly desired and needed--someone who would put God before me and who would want me to put God before them. Here's the truth: if your significant other is your savior, you're doing it wrong. They cannot save you--only Jesus can.

"Love" is not enough...but GOD'S love is more than enough.

I am human and so incredibly flawed. Without God, I'm sure my marriage would be 100x harder. But with God--I reconsider...I reconsider going to sleep angry about something insignifcant and instead, seek to resolve a conflict before sleeping on it. I reconsider seeking my own needs first and think about the needs of my husband as just as important as my own (if not more, depending on the situation). I reconsider my usual selfish nature to try to have a more selfless nature. I reconsider keeping my emotions inside, like was my typical reaction pre-marriage, and instead share my feelings with my husband.

Every single day is a learning experience in marriage. There are times when I let my husband down and when I disappoint him, when I know I could have shown more love and compassion. It is such times that I look to Christ and am reminded of His covenant made with me--how He always pursues me and never gives up on me. It is Christ's love for me that helps me to love my husband in the best way that I can. Having Christ's love in me helps me to forgive my husband and offer forgiveness when it would be easier to stay mad or complain. Knowing Christ's love for me helps me to remind my husband to turn to Jesus for true fulfillment.

I will never be able to give my husband 100% of what he needs because I am human and so is he. But Jesus' love is the best tool we have to help us love one another best. What is the biggest thing I have learned so far in these past seven months? My husband's love is not enough to sustain me; but God's love for us is more than enough to satisfy our needs and remind us how to best love one another.

God's love is more than enough.

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